*the cow hath speaketh*

Sunday, October 07, 2007

the sky is blue
the leaves are red
why oh why
does it have to get cold?

Friday, February 09, 2007

update shupdate

There is a photography mag starting next month and they are requesting permission to publish my polar bear shot for their inaugural issue. I am still thinking about it; haven't given them the rights yet.

It's bitterly cold over here. The entire week, wind chills varied between -28°C and -45°C. A little too nippy, if you ask me! It is so funny when you see the dogs strutting on the streets with their little paws stuck into waterproof socks. How just that one layer of fur is keeping them warm, beats me. They don't even have half the blubber Mr. Pen Guin has.
I made beef in butternut-squash-sauce. It was quite good. So is the Cinnamon Dolce Latte by Starbucks.

Monday, January 22, 2007

l o s t

aaaargh! i'm sick of waiting for it. air the rest of the episodes already!

Friday, December 15, 2006


so now i get to shoot a wedding...

Thursday, September 28, 2006

3rd cow tale (part II)

for part one, click here.

Cow's big belly was tied in knots and she knew this was not a good sign. usually when Cow felt uneasy, something was not right. not knowing what was happening but having a horrid feeling in her gut was making her very anxious.

the leaves on the trees were rustling and the wind was howling through the nests. Cow noticed that the itty bitty birdies were not in their homes and the squirrels were missing from their tree throws. the uneven grass bent northeast as a draft blew violently across it. it seemed as if mother nature was trying to warn everyone of the approaching danger.

Cow nervously stood up. her head felt whoozy and she spread her hooves to stand a bit more steadily on the straw. her stomach was hurting really bad and she felt hungry, so she regurgitated some grass and chewed for a little while and shut her eyes in an attempt to calm down.

Cow opened her eyes and blinked. she was no longer where she thought she was. Cow was in a bright blue kayak that had a big yellow parakeet painted at the front. Cow swallowed and held her and breath and looked around. there was nothing but water all around her for miles. she screamed at the top of her bovine lungs and listened to the echoes of her own screams.

"oh dear god, where on earth am i?"

(... to be continued)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

gone fishing


Thursday, July 27, 2006

sunny, summery

summer has arrived. officially.
it is so hot, all i can think of is cool, crisp lemonade, blue, beautiful swimming pools and thandey thandey lawn kay kapray... maybe even swim in a malmal ka suit in a tank of cucumber water. anyone else interested?

Monday, June 05, 2006

3rd cow tale (part I)

classes have made my situation such that i feel like there is a fort around me. the mother of all aerodynamic bovinity is now flightless. ho-hum, what drama.
what did you expect? i am bored.

i love joey (how YOU doin'?). he is so stupid and funny, utterly loveable. i can't believe its over.
i i had my level 2 swimming class this weekend... ooh what fun. learning the breaststroke now.
anyhow, enough rambling aimlessly, i felt like writing a funny story (oh, joey, me love, you have inspired me). presenting...... *drum rolls* (don't forget the seetiyaan)

THE DA COW CODE (how you doin' Dan Brown?)

it was a cool, calm night. the sky was studded with stars and the moon was shining pale, yet bright enough to show the deep grooves. a gentle wind blew through the trees. the crickets were chirping and the owl was hooting.

Cow was asleep, comfortable in her warm straw bed, dreaming her favourite dream of being soaked in a buttermilk bath, sipping on a grass-shake, when she was awakened by a sudden stir in the tranquility of the purple skies. she broke into cold sweats. her instinct told her something was wrong.

(... to be continued)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Friday, April 28, 2006

dead cow

Friday, April 14, 2006


okay lovers. stupid orkut is back.

Monday, April 03, 2006

swim class over :(

i can swim to the bottom of the pool now.
i can do somersaults, too.


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

confucious say

Confucious Say... He who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with stinky finger.

you must see the rest here

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

splash back

fabulous mindless addiction, link available here.
i got to level 22.
beat that.

Monday, March 13, 2006

rainy days

no more snow. the clouds have opened their hearts and started crying an annoying endless spray of water. drip drip drip drip.

i put on flippers after my swimming class yesterday. i am nowhere close to being a strong swimmer yet, nor is my technique right, so it takes me about 3 minutes to do a lap. with the flippers, it took me no more than 30 seconds to complete a lap. did 50+ laps. damn, that was fun. legs felt like rubber for hours after. still, damn good fun. definitely worth it.

Friday, March 10, 2006

frosty cows

Saturday, February 11, 2006

swim swim part II (tier 1--good lordy!)

i have bungee jumped in vegas and buffalo a few years ago, but standing so high above the water and looking down at the bottom of the 14+ feet deep damn pool is one helluva nerve-wracking experience.

agitated, i kept debating with myself, whether throwing myself onto a liquid wall should be worth it or not. i kept going to the edge and coming back. the lifeguard could see how nervous i was and suggested turning the bubbler on. you cant see the bottom of the pool once the bubbler is frothing, and supposedly you dont go down as deep either.

i took a deep breath and looked down with trembling knees and a fluttering heart. finally, i decided to just go ahead and jump. it was horrifyingly fabulous. my heart raced, the adrenalin pumped and the water refused to come soon enough. i think waiting for hitting the water is the worst part ever. it feels like an infinite moment in a twisted, gravitationally-challenged galaxy.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (inside my mind, crying, 'god save me') and SPLASH!

phew! i'm alive! i made it. i should be presented on fear factor or survivor or something... hehehe.

ofcourse, that wasn't the last time i jumped down.

today, i went to the beautiful aqua tank again and jumped down some more.

i do have a horrendously stiff neck from the endless hours of hydro activity.
was it worth it?

oh who knows..... i guess i'm gonna find out in the morning.

don't be stupid and try this without the supervision of a lifeguard. the bubbler can choke you and you can break your bones if you fall the wrong way in water.

Friday, February 10, 2006

swim swim part I

as papita and lucifer know, i've been wanting to learn how to swim since i was a teensy tot in diapers.
well this term, i finally started swimming classes (woohoo!)
i'm still not much of a swimmer yet, but last class, i went to the deep end of the gorgeous olympic pool we have here at the university. tried the slide, jumping down the diving board, and playing tarzan and jane on the rope thingamajig, and all on in 14 feet of water! (i'm so proud of me)

woohoo :D

i have my heart set on getting past tier 1, or tower 1 today. its about 8 feet high, maybe 9. lets see if i will actually be able to do it.
will fill u in on how it went, or if i even got the chance to do it today.

challo tata.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

moo manure and whale vomit (2nd cow tale)

ek dafa ka zikar hai (once upon a time), a cow was strutting down a galli, with her tail swishy-swashing behind her, and a blade of grass balanced delicately between her teeth. cow was humming the tune for a new beat she had heard playing on the radio that morning.
"right here, right now............" la la la laaaaaaaaaa.
ofcourse in her masti, she did not notice the big brown poop she had gotten rid of after the quality time she had spent hanging out with her best friend, Bull Saab. ofcourse, the inevitable happened. yep. cow stepped into her own manure.
now she is at the spa, getting herself a much needed pedicure. her nails are going to be red tonight. she has her hooves crossed that Bull Saab will foot the bill.
i dont think he should. do you?

on a side note, who here would pick up whale vomit?

Leon Wright and his wife took home a 14.75kg lump of ambergris, found in the innards of sperm whales and used in perfumes after it has been vomited up.
Sought after because of its rarity, ambergris can float on the ocean for years before washing ashore.
Worth up to $20 a gram, Mr Wright's find on a South Australian beach could net his family US$295,000 (£165,300).

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

runaway bovineness

the story of a runaway cow

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Eid Mubarak!

click this.
(no tricks)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

cow with missing feet

cow ate paaye recently.
for those of you who dont know what paaye is, please go to a South Asian restaurant and order some.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

positive thinking

a little bird in the sky.
you look up,
it shits in your eye.
you dont mind,
and you dont cry.
you just thank God
that cows dont fly!

~a forward~

Saturday, December 17, 2005

sexy bad boy

cow bulletin update:
i bought a new camera, mashaAllah.
it's a sexy, coal coloured professional bad boy.... ;)

cow's cornucopia shall be busy showing off the gorgeous gadget's output, post exams.

i still love my digimax. it has given me the luxury of taking some lurvely pictures.
inshaAllah, post exams, i will install the magical photoshop.

la la la la lalalalala laaaaaaaaa!

Monday, December 12, 2005

exams. aargh.

what do you do when the exam is right around the corner, and you are right on it, unprepared?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

doodie girl

lulu and her rocks.....

also: a very serious and HILARIOUS post. dont forget to take the poll!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.......................... BLAST OFF!

cow is in her space shuttle circling the moon!
someone told her the moon is made of cheese.
she is off to verify that.

click to colour and remember childhood

Thursday, December 01, 2005

age. an illusion.

age is an illusion, dont you think?
people can be 35 and act 15, or be 15 and act 35.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

wheres my pupu?

there was once a mad cotton coloured girl named Lulu (who some of you may be familiar with). she used to come to cornucopia daily and write up some funny comments (the very same Lulu). she loved doodieman and toilet jokes. she had beautiful green eyes and was a subject in many of cornucopia's beloved pictures. she was the closest effendi (thank you for the suggestion, fabrico), of the Cow, in fact, the bestest underaged (no more underaged) friend of the Cow in the snowy white town.

one autumn day, Lulu met Lala.

now Cow never hears from Lulu anymore.

imagine the horror!
(WELL, ok, she does hear from her, but not even half as often!)

Lala, boo you, you are POTTY! you stole Cow's beloved doodie lover away from her. Lulu, inti hamarra, wa ana mafi ahabbak inti. in pushto (again, thank you fabrico) it would be, pyar nishti.....

Congratulations on getting married...... i hope you will always be happy
i miss u pupers..... you will till i see you. you are so gonna get moo-ed at.

Friday, November 25, 2005

1st cow tale

once upon a time, a cow was flying, up above the world so high. suddenly she came across a chicken in the big blue sky. cow steered away from the chicken to avoid a collision.

things were not as simple as you may think.
the gravitational pull was too strong and she lost momentum. she swerved wildly trying to keep her balance but sadly, she failed.

cow fell SPLAT into the freshly harvested potato pile below. the old farmer was pissed at the stupid cow because the potatoes were crushed. the farmer decided to get creative.

and thats how beef-and-potato stew was concocted.


la la la la

status: unable to moo
result: singing la la la